Parenting an obese child

If you read any blogs for women or mothers in the last week, you may have read about Dara-Lynn Weiss. She wrote an article for Vogue about her 7 year old daughter's year-long weight-loss journey. Unfortunately, the actual article is not online, just articles talking about it with quotes from the actual Vogue article.

In the beginning of the year, she used the Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right program. This is a kid-friendly, kid-controlled diet that is similar to Weight Watchers. It eliminates calorie counting and teaches kids about good food choices. It's supposed to avoid public, "you're on a diet" comments to keep self esteem high. Unfortunately, Ms. Weiss ignored that part of the plan and dropped it completely after a few months. In fact, the creator of the diet, is unhappy about the article, too.

Ms. Weiss has exposed her parenting in a way that reminds me of the Tiger Mother. Both women come across as a bit cold and heartless in how they deal with their daughters being less than perfect. Ms. Weiss was told by a doctor that her daughter was obese, but didn't deal with the health issue until a boy called her fat at school. That seems to set the tone that outer issues are more important than internal. Perception is more important than reality.

I am not a parent, so I know that my take on it is a bit naive, but I was once a child and I understand how easy it is for a parent to pass along their own personal issues to their offspring. I think that Ms. Weiss was honest about her own issues with her body and weight and how she didn't know how to teach her own daughter a healthy self-image because she doesn't have one. She may have been too honest. She told stories that showed her as selfish, cold, dishonest and mean. This is why she's being denounced widely. Other moms are able to deal with the same issue in a way that earns praise.

I think many women who proclaim that all women's bodies are equally beautiful are trying to convince themselves of that truth as much as telling others. I know that many of my posts about the scale not being important and how feeling good is better than looking perfect are just as much for me as for anyone who might be reading. Intellectually, I know that when I post things like that they're true, but sometimes my emotions don't get the message. Sometimes I look in the mirror and only see the flaws.

Childhood obesity is a real issue and must be dealt with. Hopefully, parents can start earlier by giving their children healthful foods and not waiting until their child is overweight. However, if their doctor tells them their is a medical issue with weight, it needs to be addressed. Parents can't ignore the health, physical or mental, of their child. I do hope that other parents deal with the issue in a more compassionate way than Ms. Weiss.